Boundaries are sexy



I think boundaries are so sexy. Why? Because it’s open communication, vulnerability, confidence and empowerment all rolled into one. It’s consent. It’s ‘ I need less virtual comms’, ‘Whatsapp, zoom meetings, Drives and group chats give me anxiety’, ‘this is important to me’, ‘I want to explore loving in different ways with different people’, ‘you are only allowed one week off during summer’. You know? We all have our boundaries. They are so so important. And what is even more important: communicating them so others know and can respect your limits.


Some boundaries are non-negotiables, frozen in time for ever and ever. Others are more flexible, moving sometimes like a wave: today it's is a hard NO for me, but in the future this can change. Consent teaches us if it’s not an enthusiastic, full bodied YES!!! It’s a no. Maybe? Means no. Nothing is sexier than a person who knows what they want and don’t want and says so.


This week I’ve welcomed so many boundaries of loved ones and I dig it! I just love how people I adore step up and let it be known what works and doesn’t work for them. There can be some insecurity bubbling up when feeling uncomfortable saying no to someone you really like, but hey. You are your priority. Some egos might be slightly bruised, but if someone loves you, they will only applaud and even celebrate your boundaries.

On tinder dates I've met people who say within the first five minutes they are looking for a longterm relationship, don't want a monogamous relationship, want children or definitely don't. In date life, setting boundaries at the very start is so helpful! And in all other parts of life too. So get out there and tell your friends, lovers, family, bosses, coworkers, who ever needs to hear all about you and your beautiful boundaries.

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