I'm happy to announce I have found the silliest, most hilarious festival in the history of festivals. I'm talking crazy dress-ups, weird machines and monkey business. I thought Australians were masters in dressing up, but Canadians reach a whole new level. Big men wearing tiny elephant costumes, dinosaurs, full bodies spray painted gold, Gucci tuxedos, a suit made out of mirrors, fancy fur coats, tutus, anything, everything and of course nudity.
Then the machines! A cash register making sound effects with every button you push. When you crack the code, the till opens up and tadaaaa! You hit the jackpot! A drawer filled with joints, condoms, candy and other festival goodies invites you to take some and leave some. The Mission Machine is another one of my favourites. An oldskool gumball machine full of plastic balls with a piece of paper inside, like a fortune cookie but more fun and less cookie. The paper tells you your mission for the day. It can go from 'contact dance with someone' to 'act like a gorilla' or more specific 'stare into Mike's eyes for one minute'.
I waited to act like a gorilla until the time was right. I saw a man on the dance floor with a banana in his shirt pocket and things started rolling. One moment we were dancing to hiphop together, next thing you know we are chasing each other around like gorillas, making monkey sounds to everyone we crossed. Nobody even looked at us in a strange way. Because it's Bass Coast and everyone is weird which makes two people running after a banana like gorillas a normal thing to do.
Or how about the treeplanter, digging little holes in the ground to plant bananas. After which someone went around to water them. Trampoline foam parties on Sunday afternoon. Reggae yoga. Twerking competitions. Swimming in the river and seeing a man in a suit, looking all fine and dandy, standing on the bridge. Running to the shore, getting into my wedding dress asap and marrying that man, right then and there. The happy newlyweds were greeted with big smiles and pictures. They arrived on the dance floor just as the music went all hip and funky and the crowd turned into soul train mode. I don't know about you, but I've always dreamt of dancing to soul train in my wedding dress so I was all smiles.
My cheeks still hurt from laughing for days and nights on end. I swear I would fall asleep and wake up with a big smile on my face. Feeling like Alice in Wonderland, fluttering from one adventure to another. Bass Coast is one big playground, I couldn't stop giggling and dancing. All play and no work. Until Monday arrived and my early morning volunteer shift started. The green team aka trash club was ready to tidy up the festival grounds. I wasn't really looking forward to the big clean up, but I had so much fun finding treasures. Golden pumps, a snakeskin vest, a camping chair, curtains, coffee cups, a Pocahontas necklace and all other things that make life great. I might have gone a bit overboard but hooray for having a car that can store all the goods you find at festivals!